he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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