On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
