I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
