we have officially lost it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
