dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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