sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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