Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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