so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
