i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
