Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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