Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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