I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize