I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
These tits shall not be calmed
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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