Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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