sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize