If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
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