I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
