Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
