Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
