i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
