She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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