FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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