It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
