turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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