If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
