lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize