Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
