Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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