omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize