we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
