I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize