didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
