Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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