I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
