I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize