I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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