well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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