Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
