y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
