There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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