You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize