hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
