i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
