"it" just moved
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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