Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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