yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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