Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
True college students do jello shots in the library
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
