After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
