That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
