they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
