his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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