the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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