when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize