whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
