Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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