dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
