I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
