Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
