Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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