We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
