He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
