Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
