he puts the penis in happiness.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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