The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
