trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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