I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
