I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you will always have a special place in my vag
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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