i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize