batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You pole danced in your parka.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
