what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
