you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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