If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
