I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
